I’m Scared

November 13, 2012

Uploading this video was one of the most frightening things I’ve ever done in my life. And I jumped off a crane once so, you know, that’s probably a big deal. You really do feel like you’re taking a big risk when you open up about yourself and how you’re feeling, so I’m hugely pleased to find that this particular risk seems to have payed off, and that it was in fact probably the best thing that I could have done for myself right now.

Given the overwhelming amount of encouraging emails, tweets, texts and video responses that I’ve received recently from friends, family and those of you who I don’t know personally, I should be feeling on top of the world right now. And, I am! … Almost. On one hand, I feel more confident about myself and my ability to create good things than I have done in a long, long time, but on the other hand, it seems as though this isn’t the kind of fear that I can just switch off. I still feel a bit vulnerable, and worried, but I’m much more in control of it now. That, and I also feel ready to get through it. I can see the other side, and undoubtably the thing that’s helped me the most has been your support.

Honestly, I think it was the video responses that got to me the most. For me, this experience has been a stark reminder of how powerful Video Blogging can be. It’s easy to see Vlogging as being the lazy man’s version of creating for YouTube, because when compared to putting together a sketch or an animation for example, Vlogging is vastly easier in terms of time and production. But I think there’s something incredibly important about the real connection that you can make when you just talk directly into a camera and decide to share it with the world. I was so incredibly pleased to see so many faces, to hear that we’re all going through this struggle together, and to be reminded of how terribly UN-frightening you all actually are!

With that, I wanted to share just a very small handful of the videos that I received. These ones in particular are those that had the biggest impact on me when I watched them – those with really important messages embedded in them that really allowed me take big steps towards getting back on track. I hope you can take the time to watch them, and that if you’re feeling scared too, that they might help you as much as they’ve helped me.

See you in my next video. I’m sure you won’t have to wait quite as long, this time :)

  • Danielle

    I had noticed that some of your videos did feel a bit scripted….. compared to the Fun Science, Challenge Charlie days and the simple topical videos that give us a chance to just listen to you Charlie, being the lovely Charlie, talking about nothing in particular that make us feel as though we know you.
    Just turn on that camera, give us a grin and talk to us. About anything. Everything. Tell us a joke, tell us about your friends, whatever; you know it’ll have 2 million views within 48 hours of being posted!! just go for it; we’ll still always love you, no matter what!!

  • Paul

    Hi Charlie and others,

    From one who has been through many times like this, I can quite understand how you feel. Unfortunately, success brings with it a big burden: to keep your followers happy and satisfied. And that’s a big ask and it can become overwhelming at times. And equally unfortunately, having so many people saying they love you doesn’t always help – you keep feeling guilty for not living up to their expectations, even if they say that they don’t expect them…if you know what I mean. I have a few suggestions on how to deal with the whole thing:

    1. Take a break from this stuff and do something completely different. Take the pressure off yourself by doing something purely for yourself. This might be studying something you have always wanted to study, a holiday or something that rests your brain and has few expectations of achievement beyond the very simple (I used to fantasize about being a lighthouse keeper!). This is something we all have to do at times. Read Richard Feynman’s autobiographical work to see how he had similar issues at times and what he did about it.

    2. When you are ready – and this will come naturally and not have to be forced – you will be refreshed and then you can think about if you want to do this sort of thing anymore. If not, then that’s OK. Do something different. Reinvent yourself. Creative people do this all the time and it is what keeps them fresh. Your legacy will always be there, so don’t worry about that.

    3. Seek professional help. Few people can handle this on their own. In your video you say that you don’t know what to do about it. Others do know – and there are very good people out there who can help.

    4. Read ‘Beyond Fear’ by Dorothy Rowe. This is not a self-help book. It is from a renowned psychologist who has written widely about these sorts of things. I’ve just read it and found it insightful – and it does explain why you are feeling like you are and what to do about it. But because it is not a self-help book, it does not have recipes.

    Good luck with it all, Charlie. All the best

  • Lalala

    Hey, I like your honesty. I’m a writer, and when I am creating new things, I have some reasons to do so. Wanting people to like me is one of them. But, in particular, I have this other thought: The things I create wouldn’t exist in the universe if I didn’t have done so. All people that exist today never existed before, and will never exist again. Their experience and biology are unique. The sequence of words that I choose, the story, the thoughts, have only one chance to exist, and it’s trough me. I am changing the universe, creating things that I want to exist out there. I hope you read it… I hope you can think about it too, as I thought about your words. I like you, you like doctor who, you’re cool :)

  • Yup

    Come on, Charlie. If you’d take a few moments to actually read every comment in each video you made, you’d quickly discover that you are in fact – well liked. You’ve been in this business for years now, people on Youtube aren’t subtle to tell you if you suck. Enough with this bullshit and snap out of it. I thought you were smarter than this.

  • Holly

    Don’t be scared Charlie, if anything I’m scared that you’ll stop vlogging, you have no idea how much you inspire me, I’ve loved you and your videos since I started watching in 2011, please don’t be scared, remember it’s just one on one not one on a million!

  • Maia

    Ok, so I know you posted the video “I’m scared” a while back, and I’m sure that probably hundreds, maybe even THOUSANDS of people have already told you this, and I’m definitely not your most active fan, but I think its worth saying this anyway; just thinking of the possibility of you ever reading this makes me feel awesome! :)

    (English is not my first language so bear with me through any mistakes!)

    I don’t really go on youtube that much, I don’t follow any youtube celebrities at all, but I do remember many many years ago (…maybe 4 or 5?) I found you on youtube, and I had such a massive crush on you instantly, haha, and I started watching aaaall of your videos back then, non-stop (I have a truly awful memory so the fact that I even remember any of that is remarkable in itself), and I absolutely loved them! (I actually was bullied at school back then, I would go back home crying every day… but your videos would genuinely put a smile on my face, and that means a hell of a lot).

    But then I just… eventually stopped watching them. That is because that’s just what I always do, I get very infatuated with a certain “celebrity”, I focus on their stuff a lot for a day, maybe a couple, maybe even a week! …and then I just… forget about it.

    And that’s what I did with you too…

    BUT, just today, I was watching some videos and… YOU happened to appear in one of them! And you don’t realise how excited I got, even after all these years, to see your face again! haha. As soon as I saw the little… umm… “thumbnail”? of the video, I though, “is that… could it really be him?” and as soon as I started watching, when you popped up I thought “Oh my god, charlieissocoollike! Where have you been all this time?!” haha

    Trust me, I don’t think I would do that, at least not feel that, even half as much, with anyone else on the internet…(or even with many people “in real life”, you know! Haha) And I remembered you because you truly are special! You stand out! (And I definitely wouldn’t care enough to actually write a message like this, to anyone else… I really do care).

    So I found your “proper” website, and stumbled upon your “I’m scared” video, and it genuinely made me upset… To see you like that, I really didn’t like it. And the fact that I would develop an emotional connection with someone from “just a youtube channel”… in my world, that’s crazy! But it only happens because its YOU.

    And when I watched the video, I thought, yes, I genuinely feel anxious about what people think about me, all the time, whether they like me or not… its one of my biggest fears actually! We all crave love, acceptance…

    But I also thought… no, I wouldn’t care if your videos were a bit worse or better… what I would care the most about, wouldn’t be the concept of the video, the scenario or…anything along those lines… the thing I would care about the most in any of your videos would be simply… YOU!

    Because the people who actually watch your videos; we love YOU, so as long as you are YOU, we we’ll love anything you make!

    (I started watching your videos because you were really funny, but I only kept watching your videos because of you, because of your personality, because you’re actually a lovely person… There are quite a few other “youtube celebrities” whose videos I started watching because they were funny, but I didn’t carry on because maybe they seemed like they were too full of themselves/ “bigheaded” due to the fame; arrogant, or maybe they were mean to other people, etc… But you’re not any of those things, you’re awesome! Haha)

    You are amazing, really.

    So, ending this ridiculously long message now (woops.), I have subscribed to your Youtube channel now, because I really wanna make sure I don’t miss out on anything this time round! Haha

    And, if you ever decide to stop making videos (because eventually, unfortunately, it will happen) I just hope its for the right reasons. Just do whatever makes you happy at all times charlie, because personally I care more about you being happy than me being able to… keep track of your videos, although, I do REALLY love your videos too, haha.

    Best of luck with your future, and honestly, thank you for being you.

  • Maia

    I think I forgot to mention you are incredibly attractive.

  • Maia

    Ok, so I know you posted the video “I’m scared” a while back, and I’m sure that probably hundreds, maybe even THOUSANDS of people have already told you this, and I’m definitely not your most active fan, but I think its worth saying this anyway; just thinking of the possibility of you ever reading this makes me feel awesome! :)

    (English is not my first language so bear with me through any mistakes!)

    I don’t really go on youtube that much, I don’t follow any youtube celebrities at all, but I do remember many many years ago (…maybe 4 or 5?) I found you on youtube, and I had such a massive crush on you instantly, haha, and I started watching aaaall of your videos back then, non-stop (I have a truly awful memory so the fact that I even remember any of that is remarkable in itself), and I absolutely loved them! (I actually was bullied at school back then, I would go back home crying every day… but your videos would genuinely put a smile on my face, and that means a hell of a lot).

    But then I just… eventually stopped watching them. That is because that’s just what I always do, I get very infatuated with a certain “celebrity”, I focus on their stuff a lot for a day, maybe a couple, maybe even a week! …and then I just… forget about it.

    And that’s what I did with you too…

    BUT, just today, I was watching some videos and… YOU happened to appear in one of them! And you don’t realise how excited I got, even after all these years, to see your face again! haha. As soon as I saw the little… umm… “thumbnail”? of the video, I though, “is that… could it really be him?” and as soon as I started watching, when you popped up I thought “Oh my god, charlieissocoollike! Where have you been all this time?!” haha

    Trust me, I don’t think I would do that, at least not feel that, even half as much, with anyone else on the internet…(or even with many people “in real life”, you know! Haha) And I remembered you because you truly are special! You stand out! (And I definitely wouldn’t care enough to actually write a message like this, to anyone else… I really do care).

    So I found your “proper” website, and stumbled upon your “I’m scared” video, and it genuinely made me upset… To see you like that, I really didn’t like it. And the fact that I would develop an emotional connection with someone from “just a youtube channel”… in my world, that’s crazy! But it only happens because its YOU.

    And when I watched the video, I thought, yes, I genuinely feel anxious about what people think about me, all the time, whether they like me or not… its one of my biggest fears actually! We all crave love, acceptance…

    But I also thought… no, I wouldn’t care if your videos were a bit worse or better… what I would care the most about, wouldn’t be the concept of the video, the scenario or…anything along those lines… the thing I would care about the most in any of your videos would be simply… YOU!

    Because the people who actually watch your videos; we love YOU, so as long as you are YOU, we we’ll love anything you make!

    (I started watching your videos because you were really funny, but I only kept watching your videos because of you, because of your personality, because you’re actually a lovely person… There are quite a few other “youtube celebrities” whose videos I started watching because they were funny, but I didn’t carry on because maybe they seemed like they were too full of themselves/ “bigheaded” due to the fame; arrogant, or maybe they were mean to other people, etc… But you’re not any of those things, you’re awesome! Haha)

    You are amazing, really.

    So, ending this ridiculously long message now (woops.), I have subscribed to your Youtube channel now, because I really wanna make sure I don’t miss out on anything this time round! Haha

    And, if you ever decide to stop making videos (because eventually, unfortunately, it will happen) I just hope its for the right reasons. Just do whatever makes you happy at all times charlie, because personally I care more about you being happy than me being able to… keep track of your videos, although, I do REALLY love your videos too, haha.

    Best of luck with your future, and honestly, thank you for being you.

  • Maia

    Ok, so I know you posted the video “I’m scared” a while back, and I’m sure that probably hundreds, maybe even THOUSANDS of people have already told you this, and I’m definitely not your most active fan, but I think its worth saying this anyway; just thinking of the possibility of you ever reading this makes me feel awesome! :)

    (English is not my first language so bear with me through any mistakes!)

    I don’t really go on youtube that much, I don’t follow any youtube celebrities at all, but I do remember many many years ago (…maybe 4 or 5?) I found you on youtube, and I had such a massive crush on you instantly, haha, and I started watching aaaall of your videos back then, non-stop (I have a truly awful memory so the fact that I even remember any of that is remarkable in itself), and I absolutely loved them! (I actually was bullied at school back then, I would go back home crying every day… but your videos would genuinely put a smile on my face, and that means a hell of a lot).

    But then I just… eventually stopped watching them. That is because that’s just what I always do, I get very infatuated with a certain “celebrity”, I focus on their stuff a lot for a day, maybe a couple, maybe even a week! …and then I just… forget about it.

    And that’s what I did with you too…

    BUT, just today, I was watching some videos and… YOU happened to appear in one of them! And you don’t realise how excited I got, even after all these years, to see your face again! haha. As soon as I saw the little… umm… “thumbnail”? of the video, I though, “is that… could it really be him?” and as soon as I started watching, when you popped up I thought “Oh my god, charlieissocoollike! Where have you been all this time?!” haha

    Trust me, I don’t think I would do that, at least not feel that, even half as much, with anyone else on the internet…(or even with many people “in real life”, you know! Haha) And I remembered you because you truly are special! You stand out! (And I definitely wouldn’t care enough to actually write a message like this, to anyone else… I really do care).

    So I found your “proper” website, and stumbled upon your “I’m scared” video, and it genuinely made me upset… To see you like that, I really didn’t like it. And the fact that I would develop an emotional connection with someone from “just a youtube channel”… in my world, that’s crazy! But it only happens because its YOU.

    And when I watched the video, I thought, yes, I genuinely feel anxious about what people think about me, all the time, whether they like me or not… its one of my biggest fears actually! We all crave love, acceptance…

    But I also thought… no, I wouldn’t care if your videos were a bit worse or better… what I would care the most about, wouldn’t be the concept of the video, the scenario or…anything along those lines… the thing I would care about the most in any of your videos would be simply… YOU!

    Because the people who actually watch your videos; we love YOU, so as long as you are YOU, we we’ll love anything you make!

    (I started watching your videos because you were really funny, but I only kept watching your videos because of you, because of your personality, because you’re actually a lovely person… There are quite a few other “youtube celebrities” whose videos I started watching because they were funny, but I didn’t carry on because maybe they seemed like they were too full of themselves/ “bigheaded” due to the fame; arrogant, or maybe they were mean to other people, etc… But you’re not any of those things, you’re awesome! Haha)

    You are amazing, really.

    So, ending this ridiculously long message now (woops.), I have subscribed to your Youtube channel now, because I really wanna make sure I don’t miss out on anything this time round! Haha

    And, if you ever decide to stop making videos (because eventually, unfortunately, it will happen) I just hope its for the right reasons. Just do whatever makes you happy at all times charlie, because personally I care more about you being happy than me being able to… keep track of your videos, although, I do REALLY love your videos too, haha.

    Best of luck with your future, and honestly, thank you for being you.

  • Ikana

    Hi Charlie,
    I’ve been watching a handful of your videos today, and I stumbled upon this one. I just wanted to share with you some ideas I’ve been working on for years, because I think they might be useful to you.
    First of all, it is true all of us do things to impress other people. Even when we think we do them because we like them, we like them because it impressed someone in our past we are fond of. This is an idea kind of hard to understand and admit, so most people negate such a possibility. But when you think about it and dig a little deeper about each person’s “heroes”, you can realize they are shaped by their vision what they would like. Sometimes, as in case of youtube viewers, is ease to make the connection. In case of doing stuff because because it is what your parents would have liked when you where a child, is too diffuse. But still, everything you do is motivated by somebody, despite you know the connexion or not. So, in the and, we are all afraid of not being liked, but not everyone is as brave as you are admitting it and facing the truth. Once you understand it is a thing everyone has to live with, it takes out a lot of weight from your shoulders.
    About the other thing you are afraid ‘not being as you were before': I’ve been through that, and it is HARD. Fucking hard. You continue to grow up and the distance from the version of you that you liked is bigger every time. But don’t worry, there is hope. I’ve learned a lot through the years. And during my journey, I’ve been spiralling down for like 7 years before realizing what was wrong: I couldn’t let go the past.
    And yeah, past me was cool, but I was so obsessed trying to be that person again, I forgot about present me. And present me may not be cool in the ways past me was, but IT IS GOOD. It is weird to want so bad the good things in our past and how easy we forget about the shit we didn’t like back then. It’s like we want to have the good stuff from our past selves and the good stuff of our present selves and forget about all the bad stuff. And that is not realistic at all. You are someone who likes to analyse yourself, with most insight than almost anyone I can talk with in daily basis, so I am pretty sure you are a better person than you were before, than you have grown and learned in at least a 100 different aspects of yourself. So, mi advise is:
    STOP torturing yourself about things you liked about yourself. Past Charlie was cool, but Present Charlie is also cool, even if it is in a different way as doing more serious or different themed videos or projects. And there will be people who will hate the change, as they hate an steady TV show to end even if it wasn’t good any more, and there will be people who would like you as you are, and whatever you make of you. We are people and we evolve and grow and change, so it is absurd for you (or anybody) to think that the “normal” thing is to keep an steady life where nothing changes. Just keep past Charlie in the past, as the memory it is, and embrace what Present Charlie is capable of doing.
    Of course, as a vlogger, you’ll have to deal with thousands of people complaining about you changing, but don’t forget you are a person and for you to be healthy you have to be able of growing. You are not a page like facebook for people to complain about every change they make and how uncomfortable that makes them feel. So, take your time to prepare yourself mentally for all the complainers, and then do whatever Present Charlie really wants to, just looking at the future from the point you are standing right now and not from the point the 15 year old you would have wanted you to be.

    I think one of the most valuable learnings for any person is learn to adapt and embrace changes, because life changes and trying to hold onto a fixed version of reality it only brings pain and sadness. So, if people complain about you taking a direction they didn’t expect, be patient with them, as they have still not learned this lesson and they feel threatened by change. But don’t let that put a stop to who you are and who you can be.
    Remember, “chang” is good. :)

  • Ikana

    I’ve just seen immovableballad44 video response, so most of the stuff I wrote is the same… Sorry!
    (And sorry for the language mistakes like the “ease” that makes your eyes bleed… ). Thanks for your great videos!!

  • http://twitter.com/ZizZazZuz ZizZazZuz

    On one hand, you’re right. You don’t ‘need’ our approval for anything you do, and you shouldn’t let that rule your life. But on the other hand, you need that desire for approval there, because without it, then you won’t create good content. Personally, I’d advise a balance. But then, I’m not perfect. Try what works. :)

  • Taylor

    I’m really late in this BUT I think you’re amazing! My friend just showed me one of your videos and now I’m waiting for more because you’re extremely entertaining! Please, don’t stop doing what you love. You have those desires for a reason, and like others pointed out below-you wouldn’t have as many fans if you were not entertaining and good at what you are doing. I mean, I know British people are fans of you but here in America your accent (I know it’s not an accent to you but I’m American) makes you like 10x more pleasurable to watch!
    :D

  • she

    omg. you two just literally made me crying…. <3

  • Helen

    I’m just a fan ifrom China, and all I wanna to let you know is you are incredibly amazing.

  • ruth

    Charlie, I feel like I’m in the same boat as you and I don’t know how to get out. How do I make friends? How can I make people appreciate the real me? When will I feel comfortable in my own skin?

  • Şeyma Doğan

    I don’t think I can express my feelings accurately here but want to say at least thank you. For being this sincere. love you :) keep up the good work!

  • Jessica Fernandez

    After i saw this vidoe i was so inspired to talk to you, just person to person. The ironic thing, though, happens to be i couldnt find the right words to right down to you. So here i am 3 pages of written letters later and still i am at a lack of words. It happens to the best of us… even if you dont have all this perssure on you to appear to be someone you want others to like. Today i went on youtube i typed in the search box “British accents”. And when i did i watched this vidoe of a guy who at first i was only attracted and intreged by because he was good looking and british… its vain i know but its also human nature. But once i started watching all of your youtube vidoes i realized it was a guy who was… well everything. So many things can descibe you Charlie, its amazing. You make these vidoes with so many differant subjects that you share not only a peice of you life but a peice of everything for the world and make it entertaining and intersting. So few poeple can do and yet you have succesfull done so. So congadulations. I know that my voice can not touch as many poeples as yours can. In a way you give poeple the opportunity to have the mic for once. You are genuin, and acually care about your fans.

    I know you posted this vidoe months ago and my only regret is not discovering you sooner. But that should make you feel good for two reasons.
    1) You obtain new fans every single day… and you dont lose alot of your old ones either. That is proof, active proof that you are enjoyed for the recent vidoes and the old. They come together to make this Youtuber who people litterally cant stop watching.
    2) You inspire poeple… Even months after you post a video, poeple are still inspired by what you do and what you say. Its alot of pressure but its also a great honor. so enjoy it.

    You inspired me to do something i would never of though myslef confidant enough to: Put my words out there for poeple to read and listen to. They will aslo judge my comment. Thats ok too. It sucks but i cant stop it. You are the only Youtuber i have ever wrote to and the only one i plan to do so again. So thank you for sparking that in me.

    I wont be shocked or offened if you dont read this comment but i hope with my entire being you do. Because words are powerful even if they are the same ones you hear over and over again.

    ~Your never alone

  • Anonymous

    Charlie,
    I feel like I have been watching you for my whole life, it is almost inconceivable to me that it has only been 2, maybe three years since I first watched you on YouTube. Its even more inconceivable, for me at least to think that you would be scared of us, your viewers, or that you would think that we would stop liking you.
    I created making videos on YouTube after watching you so the duet with myself video, now I can’t sing (at all) though I like to try from time to time, so making singing videos for me was out of the question! So I started making videos just about things that happen in my life. Not many people watch them but, they are fun to make and some people do watch them and follow my blog, twitter Facebook and what ever else I might have inadvertently become a member of.
    I suppose what I am trying to get at here is, even though we have never and in all probability will never meet, I see you as a friend, and as a friend, I feel like you need to be reminded that YouTube isn’t about every video you make being your best, its about a journey, you make ‘friends’ along the way and you learn things about yourself you never thought you would, thats how it works… You make AWESOME content, I have never seen a video I don’t like and common, having Stephen Fry do your outro, thats pretty sweet!
    Keep making awesomness Charlie and remember: You are alot more popular than you give yourself credit for and with good reason!
    Take Care Mate,
    LukeVlogs :D

  • Tilly

    (This might be late, but I still feel like it’s worth it to tell you) I always enjoy watching your videos because you are quirky and insightful and intelligent and I like the way you think. So take a deep breath, make a new video, and make it for YOU. that kind of genuine-ness is impossible not to like. chin up, because i think we’ve all been that shy kid doing magic tricks :)

  • An

    Imagine that you have already lost everything that you were afraid of losing. That’s what I do when I feel like that. Doing so reminds me that I can’t dictate people’s thoughts and actions. Even friends don’t belong to me, they belong to themselves. But isn’t it great then that they are here now? Isn’t great that your supported by your fans now by simply being you?

  • An

    Sorry about replying to my own comment. By “dictating people’s thoughts and actions,” I meant…being overly concerned about what people say about you, etc. Someone once told me that what people say about me is none of business. What people say about you really doesn’t concern you. They’re probably projecting…like I am now. Haha

  • Lau

    I Just saw the video and I just wanna say how important is to see you so real an true to who you are. There will always be hard times, but we are here with you and we respect you for giving us a part of yourself in each video. Thanks for that. You are such an awesome person! You just need to believe in yourself! And it seems that you feel better now, so off course that’s a prove of your strength!!

  • mumofteens

    Charlie, I have just seen this and I am so hoping that you feel better now. As a 40yr old mum of two teenagers, believe me, you have given me common ground with them. We have been watching you since 2009, and ‘Duet with Myself’ has been used by al of us to diffuse teen angst situations :-) – I have watched you grow as I have watched my own kids grow, and I hope that my own 16 yr old son turns out to be as thoughtful, genuine and honest as you clearly are. Being down happens, we all feel like this at some point in our lives , usually more than once, unfortunately, but I can tell you, it will get better and hopefully already has! I dont subscribe to YT channels, but I DO watch your videos on a fairly regular basis – my kids call it my charliefix as when i watch, i watch loads all at once! You are an inspiration to so many my dear – but the important thing is that you are comfortable with yourself, that you are happy. I hope you are now xx

  • Logan Apple

    I only recently found out who you are! In a day I probably watched 20 of your videos, just because you were funny and intellectual! You being you is great!

    I’m 13, I make video games at my computer, and every day I’m worried that someone won’t enjoy something I’ve made, or will make fun of me for being a geeky nerd! I sat in a week and watched 7 seasons of Doctor Who, and I am proud of that!

    You are a brilliantly talented person! I love your videos, and I hope that you continue to make amazing things! You have inspired me to continue something I considered a lost cause, and now I realize that it’s not!

    You’re fantastic, just as you are! Don’t ever forget that!

  • MLI

    It was really nice of everyone who made Video-Responses to Charlie, I’d bet he got real happy! It’s nice that he trusted his fans to not be mean about him being afraid, and see? He got help! :-) Can’t wait for the newest video, have fun recording it, Charlie!

  • sophie

    hey there,

    my brain knows, that concerns like “do they like me?”, “i’m not … enough” and “they probably don’t care” seem to be self-fulfilling, if i choose to run from them. but as you said, it’s not easy to switch off the irrational part of it.
    still: even if it’s frightening to face your fears, i think it’s worth it.

    and i’m happy that there are people like you who are brave enough to actually say out loud what they’re afraid of, twice: the first time alone in a room, facing a camera that won’t tell you if you’re being totally ridiculous; and the second time, when you upload it on youtube and the whole world can know about it! it seems so “emotionally baring” and risky to be honest about oneself at all (let alone on the internet), but it’s important that some people do talk about it, because it reaches other concerned people who might never have the same courage.
    i guess that’s my way of saying thank you :) i’ve been watching your videos, and they were very entertaining, but this one stands out because of its honesty.

    i know this blog post is from last year, but i felt i had to throw in my two cents, anyway :)

  • abby

    Charlie I am a young person and I subscribed a week a go and you make a lot of people happy you do great things for the world and you really need to know this . So love your self you are just that , you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hhakers Екатерина Александровна

    I’m not from English speaking country and i don’t understend much of your words. But you are so pretty and funny! Why r u, guys from other countries, so amaizing?))))))))))

  • Nicoline

    Dear Charlie

    I know that it’s awhile ago since you made the video ‘I’m scared’. I just watched it and I litteretly started to cry. I KNOW you’re not alone and I hope you see this at some point.

    At the time I’m dealing with a lot. Things like depression, cutting, eating disorder and loneliness have started to trouble me. You are one of the few people who can make me happy when I’m feeling down. I thought it was time to return that favour. I hope that this helps you in some way.

    The 15 years that I’ve been living so far have been good and I’ve stayed strong. Now I’m starting to break down. The few things that keep me up are people who inspire me. YOU INSPIRE ME! Trust me when I say that you’re not the only one who is scared. Everybody are scared. Maybe that’s even why people are ‘hating’. They might be jealous and jealousy makes you mad and when you’re angry you do stupid things. I went through a phase were I had no opinion myself so I took others opinions. Usually it would be from someone I admired (such as you). I’ve started to have my own opinions now but I don’t admire you less. The fact that you have the courage to put videos on the Internet where you are so open and honest about yourself makes me admire you and gives me inspiration. I don’t even have the courage to post the videos that I make. Which is also a reason why I didn’t make a video response. I’m too scared to show myself to others.

    I hope that this helped you in some way and even though you made the video a bit ago this could still be a probleme to you. I know it is for me but I also know that I will get through this and so will you if you haven’t already.

    Best wishes for the future and thanks for everything you’ve ever done for me.
    – Nicoline

  • Olivia

    Dear Charlie

    It’s been quite a while since you posted the ‘I’m Scared’ video, so HOPEFULLY you’re feeling better. But here goes:

    Dawn will come. I promise it will get better. It really will, trust me. No matter how alone and lost you feel, know for sure that we are all here beside you. (Well, not literally, that would be a bit crowded. But you know what I mean.) We all believe in you Charlie. You are an inspiration to so many, including me and all my friends, and please know that the bad times are not going to last forever. It sounds dumb to say it like this, but like many expressions that become clichés, there’s so much truth to it that people repeat it for its wisdom. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and yes, there really is an end to the worst times, no matter how endless they feel.

    Remember that it’s perfectly natural to be fearful of people’s judgements, we all feel that way sometimes. I do all the time. The reason a girl checks her hair in the mirror, the reason why a boy has trouble with maths but is scared to ask someone for help. It’s all because humanity is scared to get a bad reaction. But Charlie, you should be the one comforting us. Not the other way around. You’re funny, clever, kind, charming and witty, and let’s face it, the girls find you HOT! Lol.

    For 5 and a 1/2 years I’ve watched you and your brilliance with excitement and pure pleasure. I’d have a day off from school, or the weekend would start, and my mum would call to me “What do you want to do today?” and I’d reply “Watch more Charlie.” I’m sure most would feel the same if you asked them.

    Charlie you’re great,
    You’re funny and kind,
    You could go far,
    with your fabulous mind,
    We all think you’re witty,
    as cute as a kitty,
    So never forget,
    for even an hour,
    if our love was wet water
    we could give you a shower!

    That came off the top of my head, and it’s all true :)
    Lots and lots and LOTS of love,

    Olivia Brown (aged 12)
    xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Olivia- again

    Another thing. I just had to add this. I adore Doctor Who, just like you. And whenever anyone asks who my fav bands are, I always answer “Chameleon Circuit!” :)

  • a different Olivia

    Charlie I just want to tell you that even though a little over two years ago I kind of quit the whole nerdfighter/youtube community, you were the first (and probably only) person I came back to see what’s been up with them. You won me over as a person, not just an entertainer. Sending you a non-overly-personal-weird-space-invading-internet-hug-type-thing. :)

  • Text Wall Queen

    You’ve already got a bajillion comments in here, but I figured one more couldn’t hurt if you were having an especially awful day at some point and decided to come back to these:

    These emotions are very human, Charlie. I’ve been watching your Youtube channel since my roommate and I stumbled across it in college, and (though I know this probably won’t cure you of these ails just to say this myself) if life ever gets to be too much, if you can’t become a constant video-producing machine (which we don’t expect you to be, friend), then we will understand. Not everyone will like you, people will say things, but that’s part of being in the public eye. It’s scary, it’s frustrating, it’s very thought-consuming, but the flip side of that is also that there will be an even greater number of people that will like you, will say nice and wonderful things, and will watch and adore you even if you made a video just describing a lump of stale bread. Knowing you, it will be a fantastic video and we will all learn something about stale bread from your video.

    I mean, there are blogs and things dedicated to you, so people obviously like you. (If you can look past the somewhat weirdness of it and see that as a good thing, then by all means!)

    In the end, no matter what we all say to console you there will still be that fear, and I am sorry for that, friend. That is the same fear we feel in all of us whenever we post something personal, or see coworkers gossiping at the watering hole or what have you. But as you can see from these comments, along with that fear is also (I hope) a feeling of happiness and accomplishment, because what you do is amazing.

    Keep it cool, friend.

  • Claudia Olin

    they’re all right…

  • pink foxes

    oh wow :( that’s really deep. i’m feeling especially bad, because i was admittedly one of those people who was starting to make assumptions about what type of person you are through these videos, and I see how ridiculous that is. Yeah, you get those Youtubers that kind of get carried away with what they’re doing and start to become this sort of personality, but i realize now that there can also a lot of pressure, especially as a funny youtuber, to keep up the entertainment value, and i hope you’re feeling a bit better lately, in spite of that. You forget sometimes that there are humans on the other end of the computer, talking to the camera, and sometimes they forget, too. But I think I can be a little more trusting with you. Ater all, I’ve been watching you like six years and you haven’t changed too much! lol. Except the bright red hair that’s been gone forever. I think I can be a bit more trusting, so don’t worry :) i have faith in your channel always being one of my favorites.

  • Misha

    Charlie,
    I have a HUGE phobia of being recorded, hearing my voice on camera, having a voice recording, preforming in front of an audience, and any other variation of those things. I really wanted to record a video response to the video when you first posted it, and I very nearly did, but the fear took over and I didn’t, so instead I thought I’d write the basis of what I wanted to say here. Where you might see it, and i hope it give you inspiration if at any point you still need it.
    I have watched your videos since 2008/09 (not sure exactly) you were, like many other people, the fist you tuber I properly watched, as in subscribing, checking your channel everyday just in case, rewatchi old videos over and over again. I found you both intriguing and entertaining, also, 11/12 year old me had a small crush on you. This was before my phobias were a thing, so I could’ve made videos, but I s’pose being an 11 year old making videos was pretty daunting, so I didn’t. Then as time went on, I got really into watching videos, and YouTube was all I spent my time doing, I soon found Alex, John and Hank, Liam, and a whole host of other unrelated youtubers, that became like and Internet family to me as my problems began to arise.
    At the end of 2009 I was diagnose with a Chronic Illness, so I spent a lot of time indoors, because it was easier and having to communicate with people was both difficult and time consuming. So I watched YouTube all the time, but as sure as night follows day, cutting yourself off from friends and the outside world when ever you got the chance, my confidence dropped and that’s where my phobias started.
    Now as I watch your videos and other youthbers too, I find myself longing to be able to do the same, but I can’t. Every video you make I find something I could post an old-fashioned video response to, but I can’t. And it’s incredibly frustrating. (It’s become such a problem, that I failed an entire language GCSE course because a quarter of the coursework involved being recorded.)
    Watching the ‘I’m Scared’ video gave me e strongest urge to respond at I’ve had in a long time, and I debated just recording something outright and not bothering to edit it and facing the trauma of listening to myself on the playback. But then the thought of someone I know finding my channel and playing the video nd hearing my voice, made me attempt to erase the suggestion from my brain.
    So what I’m trying to sayin a very round about way is, you inspire me more than any other ‘content creator’, more than the Vlogbrothers who are perhaps the better worded, or nerimon who is perhaps a lot more down-to-earth and honest about his opinions. You inspire me because you are the nerdy kid that grew up to be in a Who band, and runs a YouTube channel from the office in his house that he brought with his best friend. You are real, and you are something that I could aspire to be like.
    I can only hope that in the few months since you posted the video, you have gained a little more confidence and your fear of us has lessened. Because your channel, (however infrequent the posts) is what makes YouTube for me. I wouldn’t have the small amount of confidence and the miniscule desire to create, had it not been for finding your channel and exploring the Internet.
    Sorry that that got a little bit deep :3 Thanls for reading if you do Charlie, (thanks for reading also, if you are not Charlie)
    Have a great day, DFTBA
    Misha :D x

  • Syrika

    Hi Charlie. I understand you’re feeling scared, but there is a way to stop feeling that and it’s through Jesus Christ. Just hear me out. You see when God created the world, he created us, humans, to have relationship with Him. He created us to want to be liked and loved by HIM. Here and now we don’t realize that when we want to be desired, ultimately the only thing that will fulfill us is to receive God’s love. That is why there is so much hurting in the world, because so many humans are looking for the answer to their problems in all the wrong places such as drugs, sex, porn, drinking, ect. I can say from experience when I gave in to God and asked him to take away my fears and take away my pain, he left me with a peace and understanding that all along I just wanted Him and He comforted me. And the only way to receive God was to receive His son, Jesus. In the Bible it tells us that because there was so much darkness in this world because of Satan and our choice to sin, God couldn’t have relationship with us meaning there was no hope for mankind. But because God desperately loves us more than we can fathom, He sent His son Jesus Christ to earth to live and grow as a human and perform no wrong and to be the ultimate sacrifice to have our relationship restored with God. So to have a relationship with God means you accept Jesus and His sacrifice and live to love God, receiving all His blessings along the way. If you don’t live for the praises of man, you will not die from their criticisms.
    I promise you nothing will ever fulfill you more than the love of the Father God. There’s nothing we can do to earn it. It was a free gift to us. The only way to receive it is to choose too. God doesn’t force His love down on people, He just hopes they will accept it. If you want to ask me any questions then you can direct message me on twitter/stellifysyrika
    I bless you and anyone else who reads this comment. I know what real love and acceptance feels like, and it wasn’t found in man.

  • smile

    Charlie am scared too that no one will like me that ill fail my GCSE’s + let my family + friends down , that ill never get to have a real childhood or family and that from 1 or 2 little joke’s it could destroy a lot of life’s and one of them is mine
    see this mate said she liked a teacher so we had a little laugh about it me n other mates about 4-5 months ago but now we have had a argument 6 weeks ago in skool that she has told on me n my mates it was only a joke n she knows that but she want pay back this could get the teacher fired and my mates n me expelled i dont know what to do and am scared

  • KittyKitty

    I think, to some degree, we all have those doubts and desires: to feel loved and wanted and popular, fame, whatever. And the fear of rejection that goes alongside those desires. I think anything I want to say here will only echo what everyone else has said before me “be encouraged/ I’m scared too, etc.” so I won’t go there. I even seen people – ok, one person, because I honestly didn’t read very many other comments- talk about God and getting to know Jesus. I, again, wholeheartedly agree with that and know that without that faith and relationship in my life, things would be very, very dark and bad for me. And if there were questions, I would be glad to help, but I’m sure there are many people that would say the same in your country, your city, so that’s not my angle either. I guess my point is to say thank you. Thank you for being so honest, for laying out there that you want to run from the very things you want because what if it doesn’t pan out? Or no one really cares? What if you can’t make a difference? Those are hard questions that everyone’s asks, but they only ask themselves. It’s admirable and refreshing to see someone so young willing to say that to the rest of the world, and not say it as an “I’m so brave, look at me” statement, but as a confession, with humility. Don’t be afraid. Be strong. Be courageous. Don’t defeat yourself with doubts and don’t be so scared of succeeding that you never start.

    ….also don’t be afraid to sound smart and mature. I’m 24 but reading this, I feel I sound almost 40, but that’s ok I think.

    God bless,
    KittyKitty

  • Maíra

    truth is so amazing!

  • Eliza

    Charlie: I think you are wonderful. But what I think of you doesn’t matter. Do not concern yourself with what others think of you, but concentrate more on how you feel about yourself. You are a human, you are alive and will continue to live and create and sometimes destroy, because that is what humans do. And as far as humans go, you’re doing a great job so far, so keep up the talent and good work. We believe in you, Charlie, but you need to believe in yourself.

  • Guest

    I think it doesn’t matter what happen after you have done or say something, the really big matter is why you are doing this, what kind of person you want to be. If you really think over this, then you don’t need to care what other people think, even think about if you are doing a right thing!

    Because people are born to express themselves, there is no any rule or social expectation we must obey. Being a human, we do things and say something because we want to create, share, and feel happy or experience something from this. When you know this and accept every thing might happen because you just want to do so, then the fear will disappear. : )

  • M Isley

    I think it doesn’t matter what happen after you have done or say something, the really big matter is why you are doing this, what kind of person you want to be. If you really think over this, then you don’t need to care what other people think, even think about if you are doing a right thing!

    Because people are born to express themselves, there is no any rule or social expectation we must obey. Being a human, we do things and say something because we want to create, share, and feel happy or experience something from this. When you know this and accept every thing might happen because you just want to do so, then the fear will disappear

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